Are You Breaking Your Own Spirit?

Each of us has a team of horses inside us. Sometimes, one wants to gallop. Another wants a drink of water. And another would rather just sleep.

Are you having a heck of a time getting these horses to work together?

It’s when we get all these horses aligned in the same direction that we experience flow and true productivity.

You could bully your horses into line, but anyone who works with horses knows that bullying only works for so long — and then you either have a horse that’s entirely impossible

to manage, or a horse with a broken spirit.

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Are you breaking your own spirit?

The way to find discipline and focus is not to bully yourself into action, it’s to respect your inner horses, and find their leader.

Huh?

Say for example you need to write an article (hmm, where’d that idea come from?). But instead of charging at it, you find yourself more inclined to surf the ‘net a bit and look for a new coconut cookie recipe (any further resemblance to myself will now cease).

And yet, you still want to get that article written. But the cookies are calling you. So is your email. And the blogs you’re currently following. And that book on your bedside table. And your pillow — ooh, it’s calling you loudly. Darn!

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How are you going to corral all these horses and get anything done?

Start by respecting them. Recognize that you are someone with a variety of interests, and you have the desire to engage in many things (including sleep).

There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with your desires to learn, to enrich yourself, to rest, to eat, to be all you can be, and get some work done.

The only catch is that you can’t do all of these things at once (unless you take your laptop to a jai alai game and eat macaroons while you write your article… but we’ll ignore that for a moment).

So instead of trying to subjugate your desires, honor that you have them. Recognize that having these desires is a part of being human. And watch what happens when you do.

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Do you notice the struggle starting to let up a bit?

When I was on the rowing team in college, our coach was quite a disciplinarian. He was tough, and although I trust that on some level he cared for us very much, he usually beat us down and humiliated us to get us to do what he wanted.

Do you know how much respect I had for him? Close to zero.

The entire team used to ridicule him behind his back, and we only listened to him because we wanted to be on the team.

Contrast that with my martial arts teacher. His students, including me, were incredibly disciplined. I never worked so hard in my life.

I wanted to be an excellent oarsman. And I wanted to be an excellent martial artist. So it wasn’t a question of desire in either case. The difference was respect.

My “Shr Fu” (kung fu teacher) respected us. He was tough, but he honored who we were, and honored our efforts. And in return, we listened and respected him, and the results were fantastic (he has consistently trained some of the best martial artists in the country, for years running).

It can work for you, too.

When you honor yourself, including your various desires, you are no longer at war with yourself. Rather than rebel, your inner horses will recognize that they, too, have a leader: your heart.

Your heart, in essence, is you; the part of “you” you most think of as you. It is the dominant authority in your being. And when your heart is compassionate, respectful, and honoring, it will receive respect in return. Your desires to research cookie recipes, when honored, will recognize the leadership of your heart, and recognize the wisdom within.

And your article will get written.

When your various desires all start listening to their leader, it’s as if your inner horses all fall in line, and start running in the same direction.

And that is when you can achieve amazing things, with integrity and calm.