Why Speaking Your Truth is like Stepping Off a Cliff

The Power of Speaking Your Truth, Why tell the Truth Anyway

If there’s one expression I hear more than any other, coming out of the mouths of sensitive people, it’s, “I wish I could speak my truth.”

And for years I used to think to myself, “Then why don’t you? Nothing’s stopping you!” But that’s like telling someone who’s afraid of heights, “You want to walk out on that ledge? Then go ahead! Nothing’s stopping you!”

Except that elephant-sized load of fear and anxiety, sitting right in your gut…

That does slow things down a bit, doesn’t it?

Speaking your truth is rarely an issue of knowing what to say, or finding the right words. Instead, it’s about dealing with the fear you feel at the prospect of being so exposed.

When you speak, you are stepping forward with a message and sharing it with others. And that’s an act of courage, in and of itself, because you’re opening up a place in you that was hidden a moment before.

Not a big deal, of course, if it’s, “How ‘bout that hailstorm last week, eh?” Do you ever wonder why so many people talk about the weather all the time? Is it really that fascinating? Not really – but, it’s a shared experience. You were there, and I was there. We can both relate. It’s safe.

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But then, the stakes rise…

The stakes go up when you have to ask for something, even if it’s a “turkey and cheese, hold the mayo.” Because now you’re requesting something of another person (even if they are getting paid to serve you).

And rise…

And the stakes go up like a poker game in Monte Carlo when you’re going to say something that’s truly precious to you – like what’s in your heart. Your convictions. Your beliefs. Your dreams. Your hopes.

Did you feel the elephant come back?

Would you like to know how to get the elephant off your gut? Of course you do.

Getting the Elephant off your Gut

The fear of being exposed can be paralyzing. No matter how much excitement you feel about what’s in your heart, it’s going to be terrifying to say it as long as you’re saddled by that fear.

And it wasn’t until I had kids that I really saw how that fear gets lifted.

When my youngest daughter, Sara, was first walking outside, she used to hold on to my hand to step off a two-inch stepping stone onto the ground. To you and me, that’s nothing – but to her, it was a cliff.

As she got better at it, I knew she could do it alone, but she still wanted to hold my hand every time. She’d approach the step, look for my hand, grab it, and step off.

But then one day, she looked around for my hand, and as she reached out to grab it, she stepped off the step. Her fingers had barely grazed my mine, and she was off the step and heading toward the garden. And that’s when I realized that she didn’t really need my hand – she just needed to know I was there.

But… what’s going to happen to me?

When you go to “speak your truth”, it’s not that you don’t know what to say, or even how to say it. The fear isn’t about what you’re going to say. It’s about feeling alone as you say it, or feeling that you won’t be safe if you do.

And, just like Sara, if you feel a loving presence at hand, you’ll be able to do what you need to do, knowing that safety is just a touch away.

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How to Speak Your Truth

1. Feel what’s in your heart to say, and notice the fears that come up.

Often times you carry memories of times when you stepped out and things didn’t end up like you thought they would. Those imprints stay with you, acting like self-protective mechanisms to keep you from experiencing that disappointment and pain again. The problem is, they also keep you from saying what you need to say.

2. Reach out for the Divine.

Sara has me to reach for when she needs reassurance. You, however, have the Divine. Allowing yourself to connect to the Divine Presence that you feel when you drop into your heart – using the Remembrance, for example – is going to bring the reassurance you need to feel safe to say what’s in your heart. Because you’ll feel that no matter what happens, it’s okay. That’s what feeling the Presence does for you – it builds trust.

3. Feel how the Presence moves the elephant off your gut.

When you feel safe and reassured, it sends a message to those fears and memories that says, “Hey, things are different now. I’m not alone anymore.” And that strengthens your heart, and brings you courage. From here, you can say whatever you need to say.

But what if I don’t know what to say?

Then connect to your heart, and use the Divine Presence to give you the space you need to feel what’s authentically real for you, right now. “Speaking your truth” is simply about speaking what’s authentically alive in your heart. You don’t have to be profound, or speak with a gilded tongue in order to say what’s real for you. Whatever is in you is beautiful enough, just as it is; and the more you feel the Divine with you, the easier it will be to put it out there.

So go ahead and say it; nothing’s stopping you (now that the elephant’s gone)!

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